& Here I am

I was thinking about making a blog for a while, just to get everything off my mind so I finally decided to do it. I doubt I'll update everyday or anything, but some's better than none. Anyways here I goooo -

So I've been dealing with a lot of drama lately with guys, unfortunetly. :( my ex-boyfriend the guy who I'm in love with is a complete junkie now, he's so addicted to heroin it's sad. I love him though, more than anything. I do wanna be with him again, but not until I know he's 100% off heroin & away from that bitch who helps him get it. I already know that once you're addicted, you're pretty much addicted for life, but I still have hope for him. Then there's this other guy I like, who lives near me. We kind of had a thing, I don't wan to get into detail, but he has a girlfriend.. I'm trying not to fall for him, but it's hard when he's such a smooth talker. :/ He's moving out too on the 7th of December with his girlfriend about half hour/hour away. So I'll pretty much never see him.. Who knows, maybe that will be a good thing? Then as of last night, this one guy started talking to me again and i hadn't talked to him since this one party incident so it's kind of awkward. Idk He's not really worth talking about on here because if i do into anymore detail it could get to the wrong person. So hes a no go.

I've been trying to find a job now, for what seems like forever & I'm just failing at it. It sucks. my dad all of a sudden yesterday just told me I have 2 weeks to find a job, otherwise everything becomes his. It's like impossable to get a job right now & in two weeks, even worse. :/ Looks like I'm gonna end up being a bum. :(

Life sucks sometimes.